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Two days after someone named Maxime Talbot called Alexander Ovechkin “a real douche” on morning radio show, the Russian superstar said he was conducting his own investigation into who the fuck Maxime Talbot is, exactly.
Allegedly a Pittsburgh Penguins forward, Talbot blasted Ovechkin hours before a press conference promoting the 2011 Winter Classic between the Penguins and the Washington Capitals. Talbot frequently said he “hated” Ovechkin and said the first time he met him, the Capitals centerpiece acted like “a real douche.”
Ovechkin did not attend the Winter Classic press conference because he was participating in an international hockey tournament created by the Russian government where NHL superstars from Russia are pitted against blindfolded seals. Russia lost in the semi-finals, 3-1.
But reached for comment, Ovechkin said he was intrigued.
“What is this Maxime Talbot?” Line of hair care products? Mens magazine about tall robots?” Ovechkin asked.
Ovechkin said he has put more than $100,000 into launching an investigation into “what or who a Maxime Talbot is.” He said follow up angles he may investigate include “who the fuck do you think you are?” and “what gives you the right?”
ITB couldn’t independently confirm Talbot’s identity, but Penguins star Sidney Crosby said he was an important part of Pittsburgh’s offense, scoring two goals in 45 games, ranking him 527th in the NHL.
“When I’m playing with Talbot I see a lot of myself, actually,” Crosby said. “In that I’m generally picking up the puck from him when he trips over his own stick.”
If the capitals knew about players other than crosby, malkin, or fleury, maybe they would be able to beat us in the playoffs
I have a feeling this is fake because it doesn’t sound like something he would say, but if not- that is funny.
Megan: I guess you missed the line at the top of the page which says “the Web’s best fake hockey news site.”
It’s funny regardless of its truthiness factor.
Haha, great post! Hilarious as always.
You guys have been killing it lately.
Hey Megan, I also suspect something is awry. Yous smrt.
Pens25: Talbot is coward. He’ll have his ass handed to him when the Caps play the penscum. I predict 4 games (or more) of excruciating pain for Maxine. If they are smart he’ll be a healthy scratch of all of them. I’m sure they can find other people to make up for his incredible offensive output he provides.
I also predict many years of playoff humiliation for the penguins at the hands of the Caps.
hmm many years of playoff humiliation for the pens? I do believe Pens are 7-1 all time in playoff series vs Caps…
When told talbot scored two goals in game 7 of the finals to help win the stanley cup Ovechkins said, “What’s a Stanley Cup?”