Rule 32.2 As there is a human factor involved in blowing the whistle to stop play, the Referee may deem the play to be stopped slightly prior to..
..the whistle actually being blown. The fact that the puck may come loose or cross the goal line prior to the sound of the whistle has no bearing..
Washington Capitals superstar Alexander Ovechkin was cleaning out his locker this morning, fresh from his team being swept from the playoffs by the Tampa Bay Lightning, when a reporter asked a question. “Alex, does this mean the Russian machine has broken?” Ovechkin glared. “Russian machine never breaks, just poorly designed. Like Pinto.” The question came [...]
The hero of Saturday night’s Winter Classic will have plenty of time to celebrate after the NHL suspended him for the remainder of the season Monday morning, claiming he violated the narrative the league had meticulously laid out for its marquee game. After being a healthy scratch twice in the games leading up to Saturday, [...]
Washington Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin claimed last night that he has discovered the reason behind Pittsburgh Penguin star center Sidney Crosby’s torrid scoring pace (50 points in 30 games) compared to his own numbers (only 35 points in 30 games). The revelation came moments after the Capitals’ game against the Panthers and media had gathered [...]
Washington Capitals forward Alexander Semin announced today he would be taking some time off after lighting the league on fire for 13 goals during the first month and a half of the season in order to balance out his typical inconsistency. In a statement released by Semin, the star forward said he had clearly outplayed [...]
We’re back for round two of our high school superlative previews. In fact, we’ll be posting these every Tuesday/Thursday til the start of the season. So uhh… I hope you like them. Because there’s no going back now. Up today, the southeast division courtesy of the lovely Miss L.M. Ruhland. Southeast Division By L.M. Ruhland [...]
Washington Capitals superstar Alexander Ovechkin did not attend the opening day of training camp and is said to be grieving after learning a D.C.-based hockey fan chose Sidney Crosby and not him with the #1 pick in his fantasy hockey draft. “It’s tough man,” said defenseman Mike Green. “You work and you work and you [...]
Two days after someone named Maxime Talbot called Alexander Ovechkin “a real douche” on morning radio show, the Russian superstar said he was conducting his own investigation into who the fuck Maxime Talbot is, exactly. Allegedly a Pittsburgh Penguins forward, Talbot blasted Ovechkin hours before a press conference promoting the 2011 Winter Classic between the [...]
The National Hockey League is hoping to make its 2010-2011 season a campaign its true fans will never forget by scheduling nearly sixty Capitals/Penguins match-ups throughout it’s six-month regular season. “It’s our way of giving back to our true fans that have supported us throughout the post-lockout era,” said NHL Executive Bill Daly, “the Pittsburgh [...]
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman announced Thursday that the Winter Classic will be held in Pittsburgh, a move he hopes will stop superstar Sidney Crosby from “demanding a two-week trade to the Chicago Blackhawks.” Bettman said he had considered hosting the event in New York City, but reconsidered after receiving “no fewer than 45 voicemails from [...]
After the Montreal Canadians gutted out a 4-1 win to force game 7 in their Eastern Conference Quarterfinal series with the Washington Capitals Monday night, Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau and star winger Alexander Ovechkin said they did not realize a playoff series could end in under seven games. “They played a good game. I mean [...]