Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger, widely reported to be injured this week, has actually been healthy, but has refused to leave his team’s defensive zone in Tampa Bay in an ongoing “Occupy Tampa” protest of the Lightning’s stifling trap system, ItB has learned. Pronger has apparently not moved from what was the Flyers defensive zone in a [...]
After a six-month long study, a team of researchers have concluded that Montreal Canadiens defenseman P.K. Subban is, in fact, responsible for most of the bad things that have occurred in history since his birth. “Science doesn’t lie,” said Dr. Jerimiah Gromley, who conducted the study. “And science tells us, almost unequivocally, that most terrible [...]
We’re back for round two of our high school superlative previews. In fact, we’ll be posting these every Tuesday/Thursday til the start of the season. So uhh… I hope you like them. Because there’s no going back now. Up today, the southeast division courtesy of the lovely Miss L.M. Ruhland. Southeast Division By L.M. Ruhland [...]
*Scroll down for update* The NHL announced Wednesday that all future CBA and contract negotiations will be moved to Twitter, citing the social network’s unbelievable capacity to boil endlessly complicated and controversial topics down to 140 characters or less. The move follows the warm welcome Tampa Bay Lightning goaltender Dan Ellis received from fans earlier [...]
Eager to ride the wave of good ratings and heightened popularity the NHL has experienced this season, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman today announced the “Summer Classic,” an underwater hockey game featuring two of the leagues southern franchises, is set for this July. “Gotta keep that gravy train rolling,” Bettman said. “I’d slap the NHL logo [...]
With the 2010 NHL Regular Season having come to a close, the league is still without a solidified Rocket Richard trophy winner. Pittsburgh captain Sidney “The other Jonas Brother” Crosby finished the campaign with 51 goals — landing him in a tie with Tampa Bay’s Steven Stamkos. Keeping up with it’s post-lockout bastardization of anything [...]
