Rule 32.2 As there is a human factor involved in blowing the whistle to stop play, the Referee may deem the play to be stopped slightly prior to..
..the whistle actually being blown. The fact that the puck may come loose or cross the goal line prior to the sound of the whistle has no bearing..
After struggling all season to find a suitable model for doling out discipline, the NHL has decided to leave suspensions to a fan vote for the remainder of the playoffs. The move comes in response to a bevy of questionable hits made during the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. “We’re throwing up our [...]
New Jersey Devils GM Lou Lamoriello, fresh off his team winning the draft lottery, was reluctant to answer questions about his team’s baffling draft victory Wednesday, saying little more than he “took care of it,” reporters “shouldn’t worry about it” and later, “you want I should break your thumbs?” The Devils won the lottery Tuesday [...]
After several hours of attempting to decipher which Sedin twin was Daniel, the NHL’s leading scorer this season, the league decided to award the Art Ross trophy to Martin St. Louis of to save them some trouble, league officials said today. “We tried to give it to Daniel, but honestly, that joke where we ask [...]
In a radical change of policy amid swirling controversy over headshots, NHL disciplinarian Colin Campbell issued his own suggestion to the league’s players in an effort to curb major head injuries. “I’m not a doctor, but maybe you guys should stop hitting each other in the head. Just sayin,” he said in a statement distributed [...]
Gary Bettman announced he was scrapping his 5-point anti-concussion plan and instead will encourage headshots and other rough play in a bid to lure disillusioned football fans in the wake of the NFL lockout. “It was a total scam anyways,” Bettman said of his initial plan. “Look, I don’t like to see guys hurt. But [...]
The NHL has permanently banned the stanchion that knocked Montreal Canadians forward Max Pacioretty unconscious Tuesday at the Bell Centre, saying its conduct has no place in hockey and has embarrassed all upright bars that support other objects. “We deeply regret the actions of the stanchion in Tuesday’s game,” NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said in [...]
Ottawa, Ontario — Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson will be out indefinitely with a back injury that is thought to be stemmed from attempting to carry his entire team for almost three full seasons. “It’s tough to see Alfie go down like that,” said the dude who hangs out behind the Ottawa bench, Cory Clouston. “I [...]
Researchers at the University of Toronto have announced that they will be launching a massive twelve-year study with the hopes of answering one of hockey’s oldest in-arena questions: “Why can’t I have the bottle cap to my beer when the asshole next to me can freely wield a drumstick and a cowbell at their leisure?” [...]
Who-i Whatiksson? The NHL held it’s All-Star game in Raleigh Sunday night, featuring the likes of Alexander Ovechkin, the Sedin twins, and some other guys loosely defined as “stars” by NHL standards, with Team Lidstrom defeating Team Staal, 11-10. Loui Eriksson, who apparently plays for the Dallas Stars, netted two goals and added two assists [...]
The NHL’s 30 Guardians may have found their kryptonite. With the All-Star game fast approaching, the Stan Lee-conjured superhero protectors of the NHL have failed to shield the hockey world from the most absurdly awful piece-of-shit marketing gimmick in recent memory — the Guardian Project. With just hours before All-Star festivities were set to begin [...]