Rule 32.2 As there is a human factor involved in blowing the whistle to stop play, the Referee may deem the play to be stopped slightly prior to..
..the whistle actually being blown. The fact that the puck may come loose or cross the goal line prior to the sound of the whistle has no bearing..
A venomous cobra missing for days from the Bronx Zoo may have been stolen by an overzealous Phoenix Coyotes fan, the NYPD announced Wednesday evening. “We’ve heard rumors about a group guys who play ice hockey in empty cavernous buildings in the Phoenix, Arizona area,” said Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly during a press conference. “We [...]
Zach Parise is on the comeback trail – but that trail doesn’t include games against the Islanders or Flyers. The injured Devils forward announced Wednesday that he would skip games against the two division rivals – games the Devils must win if they have any dying hope of making the playoffs – in favor of [...]
Philadelphia defenseman and noted douchebag Chris Pronger recently elbowed Charlie Sheen into signing over the rights to his now famous catchphrase “winning,” according to the troubled actor. Pronger recently made an appearance on Sheen’s Facebook page, prompting discussion about how the two knew each other. Sheen apparently says the meeting wasn’t friendly. “See I was [...]
Montreal officials say recent intelligence suggests that Montreal Canadiens fans may stop rioting for long enough during tonight’s game against the Boston Bruins that they can move the city and its non-hockey crazed residents to another location. The officials, who spoke on a condition of anonymity because they don’t exist, said that an unusual lull [...]
The Columbus Blue Jackets franchise is facing a hefty fine from the National Hockey League stemming from an incident during their game against the New Jersey Devils on Sunday afternoon. The Blue Jackets were awarded a Power Play late in the third period when Devils defenseman Mark Fayne inadvertently coughed up some phlegm on Jackets [...]
Pittsburgh Penguins forward Matt Cooke says he plans to appeal any suspension he is issued for elbowing New York Ranger Ryan McDonagh in the head Sunday, claiming elbows are the financial lifeblood of his new charity “Elbows for Pacioretty.” Cooke says the charity raises money for the family of injured Canadien Max Pacioretty, who is [...]
After a six-month long study, a team of researchers have concluded that Montreal Canadiens defenseman P.K. Subban is, in fact, responsible for most of the bad things that have occurred in history since his birth. “Science doesn’t lie,” said Dr. Jerimiah Gromley, who conducted the study. “And science tells us, almost unequivocally, that most terrible [...]
In a radical change of policy amid swirling controversy over headshots, NHL disciplinarian Colin Campbell issued his own suggestion to the league’s players in an effort to curb major head injuries. “I’m not a doctor, but maybe you guys should stop hitting each other in the head. Just sayin,” he said in a statement distributed [...]
Gary Bettman announced he was scrapping his 5-point anti-concussion plan and instead will encourage headshots and other rough play in a bid to lure disillusioned football fans in the wake of the NFL lockout. “It was a total scam anyways,” Bettman said of his initial plan. “Look, I don’t like to see guys hurt. But [...]
The NHL has permanently banned the stanchion that knocked Montreal Canadians forward Max Pacioretty unconscious Tuesday at the Bell Centre, saying its conduct has no place in hockey and has embarrassed all upright bars that support other objects. “We deeply regret the actions of the stanchion in Tuesday’s game,” NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said in [...]